i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
