Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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