We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
