This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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