i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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