I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
