Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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