yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
