I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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