I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
