Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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