Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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