Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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