A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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