So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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