The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He? As in you personified your dick?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
