so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
