and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
