My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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