How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
