dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
