Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
