Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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