Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
