is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
