We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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