Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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