oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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