tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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