Swine flu. Run for my life!
your room smells of hookers.
And success
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
its liver damage thursday
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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