I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
vagina is talking i cant
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Randomize
