Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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