Where did you get a picture of my penis
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize