At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
