so explain again why im purple
no
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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