He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
