I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize