people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
