dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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