is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
