No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
