Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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