Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize