I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize