i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
