Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
