Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize