after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize