**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
