The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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