Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can't turn off my feet"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
