Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Life without a bra equals bliss.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
