Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize