Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize