my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize