...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
