dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
