so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
