She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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