why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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