You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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