So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
COCAINE IS GR8
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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