he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize